Where was I stop just now? I think, it's at 'my body hits the land, and I know, I had injured badly'. It's not that I don't want to finish the story, but I couldn't! Not that I forgot, not that I'm too nervous, but just, it was a fact I couldn't take for a freaking 8 years. I told myself that I had digested them since 8 years ago, but someone told me I hadn't. I don't believe it, so I thought, why don't I take this opportunity to ensure myself that I had. And I, started to write my manuscript.
When I was writing the manuscript, I don't know how many times I almost shed my tears. However, I bare the pain of being reminded. I spent so many time, to prepare myself, to reveal this pain in my body. I thought I can, I really thought so. See, it happened 8 years ago. By the time I stand on the stage, I want to tell everyone about it. Not the story, but that I already overcome them! I tried for the first time, and I couldn't. I came down from the stage, and I told myself, I have to do this! I went up again, and I bare a little more pain compare to the first time. But still, I couldn't take it! And I do think I did the right choice, at least, I didn't show how weak was I in front of everyone. Shedding my tears on the stage isn't that nice.
Taking this opportunity to experiment my feelings is of course another pain, but I think I had made the right choice to ruin my marks this time. At least, I don't need to lie to myself anymore. I know, I still couldn't take it after so long. After all, I think everything is worth doing.
Seeing the manuscript now makes my eyes sour....
and many thanks to my friends who give me lots of supports! I appreciate them so much!
quote of the day: 'I'm proud of myself, because I have the courage to give up!'
signing off,
burden off the shoulder. Yes, I couldn't take it after so long.
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